my mother emily part five

Part five of Tim Murray’s personal blog on caring for his mother serves as a guide for those considering in home care services for their parents in Cary, Raleigh, and Apex NC.

This blog is about the journey my Mom and I are going through, specifically moving her from her home in New York to assisted living here in Cary.

By Tim Murray, Co-Founder and President of Aware Senior Care

Previous blog – My Mother Emily: Part Four

My Mother Emily: Part Five – Mom returns to our 1967 Kelm Lake Cabin

My last blog entry was on June 21st.  At this point in time, we successfully moved Mom to an assisted living facility, the Emeritus at the Landing in Queensbury, NY.  She has a nice studio room there and the staff is very friendly and attentive.

My concern when we moved her in was how Mom would adapt to yet another move and is the staff as advertised?  We’ve all been there when you here the talk, but do they walk the walk?

Well, after a month there, I can happily say they walk the walk.  My brothers and I are really thrilled with the attention and care my Mom is receiving from the staff. I saw this first hand for the three days I just spent with Mom a week ago.

During my time up with Mom, with the help of my brother Chris, we took Mom for an overnight visit to our family lake house.  The lake house is located at Kelm Pond (how Kelm Lake is officially known on maps) just north of Warrensburg, NY and is a little over 2 hours southwest of Burlington, VT.

It was warm, but a cool breeze made for a very nice Tuesday. There’s a small “beach” directly across the lake from the cabin and Mom and I went over to sit and take in the lake view.

This is a special beach at Kelm.  Larry Raymond, who built most of the cabins around Kelm Lake during the early 1960s, dumped sand and created a beautiful beach for all the families to use in early 1960.   My first experience at the beach was as a five-year-old when we rented what was then called cabin six right next to the DiFalcos (our longtime family friends) who were in cabin five.

Reflecting on Mom’s Move Back to New York

The goal to bring Mom to NY was to have her closer to the lake house she loves and also for her to be able to frequently see my brothers Pete and Chris.  All this has been achieved.  I was anxious about moving Mom to another assisted living community, but thank goodness the staff there is very good.

They are doing a great job taking care of Mom and gently engaging her in activities.  When she initially arrived, she constantly asked when she could leave and go home.  A month later, she’s settling in and it’s possible this may be her home for some time.

In my heart. I believe a small residential assisted living home in Cary, NC would be the best place.  Why? A small residential assisted living home offers a more family setting and the ratio of staff to residents is one or two staff to six residents.  Plus, our family would be around, including her great grandchildren.  However, if Mom is happy there, then there she will stay for the time being.

It’s not about us, it’s about Mom.

I’m very thankful for a lot of things right now.  I feel we have a great care team surrounding Mom.   My brothers and I are on the same page.  All decisions we’ve made during these past few months has been based on one thing and that’s doing the right thing.  I ask myself that every time when faced with a decision.

As I mentioned in part one of this blog there is no right or wrong answer.  There is a best answer.  Its about doing the right thing.  I hope this blog has been helpful.


tim murray

Next blog – My Mother Emily: Part Six

This blog aims to help those currently navigating how to take care of an elderly loved one.  For those looking for home care in Cary, Apex, and Raleigh, read the “Why Home Care?” section of our site to see if it’s the option for you and take our Needs Assessment.